Ok, I don’t know about party poopers and negative people who will read this post, but I have recently become a huge fan of Galgotia, whoever he is, and of his parents who did the initial hard work that popped out one fine day as Baby Galgotia. Apparently, he was in a typical utterly boring business when someone asked him if he had ever been in Univ. So, he set up a Univ, having misunderstood the question. This is more than I can say for you, so let’s give him some respect and treat him as 67% human (for now).
Then he recruited some unsuspecting passers-by and tresspassers as faculty and got it all going. Some years later, there was a silly hype on something called Artificial Intelligence which his students badly needed because, if they had non-artificial intelligence, they would have preferred to become toll gate operators in the Atacama Desert than join his stellar university. So, Baby Galgotia (who had, in the meantime, grown up despite Societal pressure to have him extradited to the Cayman Islands in a rubber dinghy) set up the Centre for Artificial Intelligence, with himself as the Centre, some batata pav and samosas, and a dog from China as his sidekick that was not a dog but a robot that looked like a dog and fooled everyone into thinking it was a dog because it did to Galgotia’s car tyres what dogs do when they see car tyres.
Then there was some conference in Delhi on this (no, the conference was not on what dogs do when they see car tyres), so he signed up the dog which had an IQ greater than all those tresspassers-who-are-now-faculty combined. Since this had now an exciting animal theme, he also sent some bakras that were not literal bakras but a couple of comic losers dressed up in goatskin (one goatskin that spoke on camera had lipstick outside and vacuum within, which is, in the Galgotia Uni handbook, a steady state of equilibrium).
To keep close watch on tresspassers-that-are-faculty, he made a drone out of thermocol that looked so stupid that it did not even fool a reporter from a TV channel called Times Now-or-Never (the answer is Never). Then they occupied a Stall, which, if I may digress with a pithy comment, is a perfect verb to answer the question, How is technological progress best described in India?
It all unravelled sadly when the robot dog did to a pole in the conference what it otherwise does to tyres (what the pole was doing in the conference is one of 3,247 questions that are engaging the attention of Informed Society at the moment) and someone who was observant saw a Made-in-China sticker in a delicate part of the dog’s anatomy that I refuse to describe in further detail out of sensitivity for reader sentiments.
Then hell broke loose, of course, as you may have read, and Galgotia’s Brigade was asked to vacate the Stall, which is such a pity because they were just getting started and, no doubt, hens, geese and cows (with artificially intelligent methane) were waiting to be let in. I have written a strong letter of condemnation about such extirpative tendencies of these conference organisers who, when reports last came in, had failed a competitive intelligence test where the only other competitor was the thermocol drone. But I am deeply impressed with the bureaucracy that has ordered an Inquiry and followed its Action Taken protocol with impressive speed: it has neutered the Principal Offender, the dog.
