Thomas Edison famously stated that genius was 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Well, he knew his light bulbs alright and perhaps got the music industry off the block, but he knew nothing about genius, even his own. I say this, because he had never met Venu (Venu was born in the early 1950s, after Edison was had been dead for two decades, so a meeting was unlikely).
Venu (not his real name, else I could get into trouble) began his stint in modern history by enrolling for Chartered Accountancy under my Uncle. He was a thin, dreamy eyed sort of fellow, who walked as if he could always fall in a heap on the ground and had his mouth always open in a sort of unhinged way. In the few years of articleship, he acquired a cult reputation for simply being brilliantly clumsy and absent minded. He would be holding a glass of water and would find, for no reason whatsoever, that it dropped and shattered by his feet. He would then wait, mouth open and gulping in air, much as a fish would do, eyes goggling and hands frozen, until the mess was cleared up. When he walked down stairs, spectators watched with bated breath. And if this wasn’t quite enough, his skills in auditing were particularly unique: while going through vouchers, he could fall asleep in the oddest of poses, with his fingers continuing to automatically vouch the bill in the front of him. Fifty years on, the very mention of his name makes my Uncle double up with laughter; it is a laughter not unmixed with some frustration, and, as I learnt later, this was much the common reaction to Venu.
This was sheer genius, unrecognised. His parents continued to believe that their son would pass his CA if he put in the requisite preparation. Sorry, perspiration. Poor souls. Every exam would find Venu working damned hard at his books. He would eschew all pleasure, stop dropping glasses and glare fiercely at the ominous Shukla & Grewal in front of him. His resultant scores in the accounting paper varied from 5% to a high of about 20% and there is little doubt that the examiner had his moments of satisfactory mirth.
The next stop after his articleship was to join my father’s accounts department in Digboi. Those were days when jobs were got largely by whom you knew and my father had his blind spots; Malayalees was one. Venu quickly distinguished himself with some outstanding performances – my father, in later years, recalled watching the fellow spend a couple of hours at his desk staring into nothingness and smiling beningly on occasion, even as passers-by watched him curiously. This was no one-off event. When disturbed from such thoughtful reverie, he would stand up and sit down continuously a number of times and stretch his body and, in general, be all over the place, gulping continuously, the fish impression intact. Amidst all this, he never lost sight of two fortnights in a year, when his CA exams were held. He knew the pages intimately, the answers to all the sums in the book by heart and made the textbooks his constant companions in those weeks, yet the results remained astonishingly consistent. His genius – 99% inspiration and just that bit perspiration while he slept – was in being himself, not in the smaller game of life that is chartered accounting.
His parents saw the imperative in getting him a sensible wife and this they certainly did. My friend, Rajiv, who was their neighbour, recalls the now legendary incident in the early 1980s, when Venu purchased a second hand car. His wife – bless her – prohibited him from ever touching the wheel in her absence. On day, driving with her beside him, Venu got a bit mixed up with the many levers at his foot and, while down a slope, pressed the clutch rather than the brake, despite a screaming wife pointing out the technical error repeatedly. Rajiv rushed out of his home on hearing a loud noise to see a rather bedraggled Venu using all his strength pulling – yes, you read this right and I shall repeat it – pulling at the bumper at the back to bring the car (a two tonne Ambassador) out of the ditch it was now firmly in. The bumper came right off and Venu quickly found himself in the opposite ditch. Both the car and the driver were treated as outpatients in their nearby respective clinics.
Among the few Malayalees in the Digboi-Tinsukia area, Venu became a legend. He was a great conversation starter and my father, who had a ringside view of the fellow from his room, spent many happy hours practising Venu’s mannerisms that could be later used to set the tone for a memorable evening. When we left Digboi in 1978, Venu was hard at work on his exam, as always. Some years later, I learnt that he and his daughter had written the CA exams together. The bets on the outcome were very predictable and, indeed, Venu stayed close to his now twenty-year average.
Yet, Venu did something none of us could ever achieve in many a lifetime. He proved Thomas – the Thomas Alva Edison – wrong.
Venu (not his real name, else I could get into trouble) began his stint in modern history by enrolling for Chartered Accountancy under my Uncle. He was a thin, dreamy eyed sort of fellow, who walked as if he could always fall in a heap on the ground and had his mouth always open in a sort of unhinged way. In the few years of articleship, he acquired a cult reputation for simply being brilliantly clumsy and absent minded. He would be holding a glass of water and would find, for no reason whatsoever, that it dropped and shattered by his feet. He would then wait, mouth open and gulping in air, much as a fish would do, eyes goggling and hands frozen, until the mess was cleared up. When he walked down stairs, spectators watched with bated breath. And if this wasn’t quite enough, his skills in auditing were particularly unique: while going through vouchers, he could fall asleep in the oddest of poses, with his fingers continuing to automatically vouch the bill in the front of him. Fifty years on, the very mention of his name makes my Uncle double up with laughter; it is a laughter not unmixed with some frustration, and, as I learnt later, this was much the common reaction to Venu.
This was sheer genius, unrecognised. His parents continued to believe that their son would pass his CA if he put in the requisite preparation. Sorry, perspiration. Poor souls. Every exam would find Venu working damned hard at his books. He would eschew all pleasure, stop dropping glasses and glare fiercely at the ominous Shukla & Grewal in front of him. His resultant scores in the accounting paper varied from 5% to a high of about 20% and there is little doubt that the examiner had his moments of satisfactory mirth.
The next stop after his articleship was to join my father’s accounts department in Digboi. Those were days when jobs were got largely by whom you knew and my father had his blind spots; Malayalees was one. Venu quickly distinguished himself with some outstanding performances – my father, in later years, recalled watching the fellow spend a couple of hours at his desk staring into nothingness and smiling beningly on occasion, even as passers-by watched him curiously. This was no one-off event. When disturbed from such thoughtful reverie, he would stand up and sit down continuously a number of times and stretch his body and, in general, be all over the place, gulping continuously, the fish impression intact. Amidst all this, he never lost sight of two fortnights in a year, when his CA exams were held. He knew the pages intimately, the answers to all the sums in the book by heart and made the textbooks his constant companions in those weeks, yet the results remained astonishingly consistent. His genius – 99% inspiration and just that bit perspiration while he slept – was in being himself, not in the smaller game of life that is chartered accounting.
His parents saw the imperative in getting him a sensible wife and this they certainly did. My friend, Rajiv, who was their neighbour, recalls the now legendary incident in the early 1980s, when Venu purchased a second hand car. His wife – bless her – prohibited him from ever touching the wheel in her absence. On day, driving with her beside him, Venu got a bit mixed up with the many levers at his foot and, while down a slope, pressed the clutch rather than the brake, despite a screaming wife pointing out the technical error repeatedly. Rajiv rushed out of his home on hearing a loud noise to see a rather bedraggled Venu using all his strength pulling – yes, you read this right and I shall repeat it – pulling at the bumper at the back to bring the car (a two tonne Ambassador) out of the ditch it was now firmly in. The bumper came right off and Venu quickly found himself in the opposite ditch. Both the car and the driver were treated as outpatients in their nearby respective clinics.
Among the few Malayalees in the Digboi-Tinsukia area, Venu became a legend. He was a great conversation starter and my father, who had a ringside view of the fellow from his room, spent many happy hours practising Venu’s mannerisms that could be later used to set the tone for a memorable evening. When we left Digboi in 1978, Venu was hard at work on his exam, as always. Some years later, I learnt that he and his daughter had written the CA exams together. The bets on the outcome were very predictable and, indeed, Venu stayed close to his now twenty-year average.
Yet, Venu did something none of us could ever achieve in many a lifetime. He proved Thomas – the Thomas Alva Edison – wrong.
LOL!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a character!!! All your friends are characters indeed... :P