A Riddle, Wrapped In A Mystery, Inside An Enigma

 If you have been following the news closely, you will be glad to know that we are remarkably consistent in being remarkably inconsistent. 

First we said that we would feed the world with wheat.  So, we exported 7.23 million tonnes of it last year (which was more than what had been exported in the earlier seven years put together, so someone’s been feelin’ generous) and then promised more (unlike that awful story in Oliver Twist).  This is, of course, a most noble thing to do, with the small - and, sort of, unnecessary - footnote that, in a recent survey, about 7% of Indian children were found to be severely wasted, 19% wasted and 35% stunted.
(I delight in spoiling the party, but, no, it doesn’t run in the family.)
 
Then, wheat prices went up and we also realised that there isn’t enough wheat around in the national chakki because we hadn’t been counting, so we said, Stop.  Then, Egypt and a couple of others apparently said that they would starve (Oliver Twist Returns, now showing once daily), so we have said, Maybe Yes. 
That’s great, we need those Pharaohs (and that odd cone-like thingy made of stone) on our side.
 
And, did I tell you, we have been talking of saving every drop of water?  Apparently, somewhere in India (if you believe all that dubious stuff in PDFs like The State of the World’s Water, by Water Aid), about half our pop faces extreme water stress and around two lakh people die because of inadequate access to clean water.  
So, everyone’s diggin’ deeper and deeper down.
And building dams and reservoirs to store all that river water that is otherwise wasted when it flows (Sensible river, no flow - old Antarctic proverb)
….all of which can then be used….
….to grow rice and wheat….
….the excess of which can then be exported.
 
What’s wrong with this?
Take wheat again (time to hold your breath.  I do such yoga regularly).  Each kilo of wheat takes 1654 litres of fresh water (most of it – say, 80% - from below the ground or our rivers).   Time for some math:
Ground or river water used for wheat per kilo = 80% of 1654 = 1300 litres (thereabouts)
Wheat exported in last year’s feeding-frenzy = 7.23 million tonnes
Hence, water exported (sort of…it’s called ‘virtual water’, by the way) = 94 billion tonnes of water.
That is 94,000,000,000,000 litres (took me a while to do that, hope you’re impressed).
 
Just for the export surplus from one crop.
Wheat, rest assured, is well fed.  As is rice.
For half the pop that needs clean water, well (I had to pun….), it’s work in progress.  Stay posted (but don’t, repeat, don’t hold your breath).  

 
And, I was just going to tell you about the 9 million tonnes of sugar that we exported last year (@ 4,000 litres of water per kilo), but I can see the film over your eyes…so, I will drop off and bake a cake (yes, wheat and sugar).